This one is for the divorcees.
Be encouraged because divorce is not a dead-end.
As someone who was once married, I know what it’s like to go through a divorce. Although the divorce wasn’t messy, it was still much to learn about divorce because it was my first time and I didn’t know much about it. I actually beat myself up about it because I felt like I had let God down and I let myself down. I’m not a fan of divorce but I knew it was something I had to do because I married wrong.
My parents didn’t partake in biblical marriage so there was little to no discussion within my home growing up. I grew up in a baptist church and marriage was talked about but not from a singleness or dating perspective. Meaning, it was taught to just get married that’s it and that’s all. As long as the person is saved, get married! Marriage was preached more from a pushy and legalistic view. Not a spiritual and practical view. Like okay yes, marriage is the goal but this is how you get there. This is how you date. This is how you prepare yourself and so on.
So I married out of ignorance thinking I was doing the right thing but it was wrong. I mean marrying is a right thing but it was with the wrong person. After I got the divorce I felt ashamed because the church setting I grew up in, they damned you for getting a divorce. It was like an abomination. I was walking around feeling shameful and like a statistic. It was like I felt like I was stained for life because I had gotten a divorce.
All because of the condemnation of the religious community
But thank God, for repentance, His word, His spirit, healing and deliverance. I repented for my mistake and started doing my own study on marriage and divorce from God’s perspective. I wanted to know His thoughts on it all. In my study, what I learned really freed me and I want to share it with you.
First of all, there’s no sin, besides blaspheming the Holy Spirit, that is not covered under the blood of Jesus! God loves divorcees. Does He hate divorce? Yes, I believe He does because divorce is an act of breaking a covenant. God does not like covenant breakers or when someone doesn’t keep their word.
So I believe divorce displeases God.
However, based on scriptural context, I also believe that divorce is necessary under certain circumstances.
The Pharisees call themselves trying to trip Jesus up by asking Him about divorce. I believe some religious people are still tripping when it comes to divorce by making people feel damned because they divorced.
Let’s look at the scriptural text of the conversation between the Pharisees and Jesus in Mark 10:2-8 AMP. It says, “2 Pharisees came to Jesus to test Him [intending to trick Him into saying something wrong], and asked Him, “Is it lawful [according to Scripture] for a man to divorce his wife and send her away?” 3 He replied to them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of hearts [your callousness and insensitivity toward your wives and the provision of God] he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. 7 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother [to establish a home with his wife], 8 and the two shall become one flesh; so that they are no longer two, but [are united as] one flesh.
Does God like divorce? No, He doesn’t. But He allowed it due to a fallen world with frail human beings. I believe He allowed it to accommodate broken humanity. I believe this is not just when it comes to dating or marriage. It also applies to other relationships that don’t mean you any good and you need to divorce them.
Jesus was saying that divorce is a reality, however, it wasn’t God’s original design for humanity.
In fact, God did some divorcing Himself. You’ll see reading the Old Testament where He divorced the Children of Israel a few times. Now, I’m not saying just jump up and get a divorce. That’s not what I’m saying. And please don’t divorce and jump into another relationship.
I’m talking about like if someone is being used and abused, God would not have that person to stay married.
Jesus does not use and abuse His Bride.
Being used and abused can come in many different forms and look different for different people. I would advise a person to be honest, consult God and consult those they trust for wise counsel concerning their situation.
In verse 9 of Mark chapter 10, it says, “Therefore, what God has united and joined together, man must not separate [by divorce].”
The key statement in this scripture is ‘what God has united and joined,’ not what you joined or somebody else joined together. This is evident that God’s blessing is not on every relationship and/or marriage because He didn’t join every relationship or marriage.
It’s possible to be married legally but not be joined.
One thing about God, He will warn you if a relationship is not right for you. But many times, like myself, you can’t see beyond yourself. Some people just want what they want and ignore the warning. Some people ignore the warning because they worry about what other people will say. That was something else I included in my repentance.
One of the main things I learned from my marriage mistake is that it’s more to just a person being saved that makes them a suitable mate. It's so much more to it than just that because the person can be saved, but it can still be an ungodly situation. Hence, the reason for this podcast. I want to help my family in the Lord out!
If you are dating, to prevent divorce, make sure you get the Lord’s blessing.
Make sure you both carry the same burn and burden for God.
Otherwise, that person will become a burden and the dating will ultimately lead to divorce. Which may be a good thing, if it’s not a God-thing.
I’m just saying, it’s much easier to divorce a date than having to divorce a mate.
If you are a divorcee, let me encourage you. The bible says, there’s therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Repent and receive God’s forgiveness and then forgive yourself.
Divorce is not a dead-end.
Divorce is not eternal damnation.
You can date again and marry again.
Mistakes are an opportunity to start over more intelligently.
There truly is life after divorce.
